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Joke of the Day

"OC: My wife recently caught me receiving a hand-job from a circus soothsayer. It was truly a stroke of Miss Fortune."

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"Why do white girl groups only walk together in odd numbers? Because they can't even"

"I don't meant to brag, but I'm the world champion in false modesty."

"*grabs your ankle from a storm sewer* if your barbie doll needs a hula hoop use an onion ring"

"What two friends belonging to two different alien species call each other? Brothers from Another Mothership."

"What does Charlie Sheen say when he's having sex with a Vietnamese Lady? Nguyenning!"

"Me: your shoes are on the wrong feet 4yo: Me: ....... 4yo:......... Me : 4yo : but I don't have any other feet Me : fair enough --__--"

"I don't think of women as just nice tits, a sweet ass, a pretty face or any single one of their parts... ... I think of them as a hole."

"An Idiot boy held his breath for as long as he could. after about two minutes the boy fainted."