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Joke of the Day

"I don't meant to brag, but I'm the world champion in false modesty."

"I like my presidents like I like my slaves Cautious and skeptical about ideas that start off with ""I ran"""

"How did San Diego get its name? Someone dropped their waffle on the beach."

"[on a plane] Stewardess: ""Would you like a mint? It'll help your ears during takeoff"" Me: ""Sure, can I have two?"" *puts one in each ear*"

"[God creating pufferfish] How about a terrifying balloon"

"Why couldn't little Johnny get the toy he saw on TV? His parents weren't 18 or older."

"I'm going to the reverse origami championship tomorrow Can't wait to see how it unfolds"

"Never trust an atom... They make up everything!"

"I'm currently on two different diets Because with just one I'm always hungry"

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, though, it's every man for himself"