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Joke of the Day

"Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work."

"when i die i want my kids to carry my casket. So they can let me down one more time."

"I was playing 'would you rather', and asked my girlfriend if she'd rather be a goat or a cow for the rest of her life. She asked me which one I'd rather fuck."

"Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn't know who he was."

"Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don't make a right. Tomorrow I'm going to try three."

"How do the greek separate the men from the boys? With a crow bar."

"Melissa McCarthy has been diagnosed with an aggressive flesh eating virus They've given her only 14 years to live, if untreated."

"I was a baker when I was in the army. When I went to war, I went in all buns glazing."

"A farmer plants a field of dildos. What does he get? Squatters."

"Why did Adele cross the road #To say hello from the other side#"