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Joke of the Day

"Lee: I just swallowed a fish bone! Counselor: Are you choking? Lee: No I'm serious!"

"I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead."

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute? A prostitute can sell her crack more than once"

"How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it."

"Well aren't you a waste of two billion years of evolution."

"Hi electron, will you be at home tonight? Probably."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7"

"Boss: Let's be frank. Me: Dibs on ""Sinatra."""

"I'm trying to give up sexual innuendos but it's hard... So hard."

"Past, Present and Future walk into a bar... It was tense."