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Joke of the Day
"I believe in respect for the dead; in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead."
Next Joke
"don't kid yourself, the pace at which the cursor blinks before a blank space in a document is the actual heartbeat of God"
"feedback 4 people revving motorbikes loud in residential areas: there is absolutely 0% chance that u r impressing literally a single person"
"Intellectual. A man who can explain electricity but doesn't know how to screw in a light bulb."
"Do you know how much a polar bear weighs? (no) me neither but enough to break the ice, hi my name is ....."
"Why did everyone invite mushroom to the party? Because he's a fungi."
"When thirsty you should always drink apple juice.. Because OJ will kill you."
"""One man's trash is another man's treasure"" it's a great saying... but a terrible way to tell your kids that they're adopted."
"Why do Mexicans cross the border alone? Because there can only be Juan."
"There are assholes, and then there are people who applaud after movies."