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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7"

"Live a little, ask her ""are ya done?"" while she's still yelling at you."

"wife: Feeling better? me: Yeah wife: Kind of overreacted to a cold didn't you? [flashback to me calling the Make-A-Wish Foundation] me: No"

"My dad told what the capital of Greece actually is. It's Fathens."

"Did you hear about that priest that turned to alcohol and drugs after he was confined to a wheelchair? He's no longer an upstanding member of the community."

"Optimist vs Pessimist Optimist - The glass is half full Pessimist - The glass is half empty Feminist - The glass is being raped"

"Knock knock*** Who's there? Ask me a predictable question. Ask me a predictable question who? Okay. Very good. Thank you for your cooperation. You are very welcome."

"What's angry, fluffy and destructive and gathers inside stringed instruments? Violint"

"So Donald Trump is only getting $1 a year as president? You could probably get an immigrant to do a better job for a cheaper price."

"What did the angry Indian man say at the bakery? I'm having naan of it."