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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute? A prostitute can sell her crack more than once"

"How many 'sah dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit."

"What is the difference between my grandma and a newborn baby? When I fuck my grandma up the ass she doesn't die."

"What do you call batman when he runs out of church? Christian bale"

"[ordering pizza alone] Yeah I'd like a large pepperoni and *changes voice* A medium sausage *changes voice again* Another large pepperoni"

"Doctor asked me for a semen, stool and urine sample. I said, ""Hell doc, I ain't got time for that! Can't I just leave my underwear?"""

"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."

"I pissed off two men today because I referred to them as hipsters.. Apparently the correct term is 'conjoined twins'"

"What do you call a guy with no arms or legs that can breathe underwater? Gil."

"Who does a hypocrite really hate? A hypocrite!"