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Joke of the Day

"""I sure hope Pitbull and Nicky Minaj do an album together!"" - said no one ever."

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"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""
"Throwing glass is wrong in some peoples eyes."
"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."
"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET Boss hangs a poster in Office ""I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"" He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk. ""Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."""
"Do you know what a will is? C'mon! It's a dead giveaway."
"Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed? His wife didn't know any decent crackers."
"What's the difference between my ex and my toaster? It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster."
"The pirate mechanic repaired my sex-bot. Thar, she blows."
" Is this the real life? Are you a manatee? Let's beat up french fries I should lay off the LSD "