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Joke of the Day

"Gas is so cheap right now, I just buy a new car when I run out."

"A planet died today I read about it in the orbituaries."

"If all the good ones are taken and you are single, what does that make you?"

"Only thing I Iike about kids, is their ability to attract ice cream trucks"

"So I had a dream last night about eating breakfast. It was pretty *surreal.*"

"I once dated a woman named Kim who hated to be called Kimberly. Then I dated a woman named Chelsea who really hated to be called Kimberly"

"Why don't Blacks and Mexicans have babies? Their kids would be too lazy to steal."

"What is it called when a chemist has a really great winter break? Litmus"

"The world isn't going to end tomorrow... It's not on my calendar."

"If ""wings"" mean ""diabetes"" then yes, Red Bull gave me that."