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Joke of the Day

"The pirate mechanic repaired my sex-bot. Thar, she blows."

"What does Hillary Clinton have in common with a factory-grown chicken? They're both getting beaten by the name of Sanders."

"What do we want? TO BE LESS INSECURE? When do we want it? NOW! Um, I think... Soon, I guess? Is that weird? When do people usually want it?"

"Fox News reports that President Obama rapped his oath in Arabic while cutting the head off a goat."

"TIL Micheal Bay's 'Pearl Harbour' made almost $ 200 million... ...I thought that it bombed! [re-worded Greg Proops joke from DLM]"

"If you were forced at gunpoint to either watch '50 Shades Of Grey' or read the book, what type of gun would you prefer to be shot dead with?"

"Whats the cheapest type of meat? Deer balls, they are under a buck"

"What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches."

"What did the agnostic, dyslexic insomniac do? Lay awake in bed wondering if there really is a dog."

"What's the illuminati's favorite month? Jew-Lie"