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Joke of the Day

"I sent 117 texts and called you 82 times but you must be busy so I came over to tell you the restraining order expired and I still love you!"

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"Whoever coined the phrase ""Quiet as a mouse"" has never stepped on one."
"Twitter - We built this city on block and troll......"
"Two computers are on a date. One says to the other, ""i'm not your type."""
"I am sad I can no longer get Arnold Palmer's at restaurants anymore But it looks like I can get an Arnold Embalmer now."
"Me: *grabs a donut from conference room* Incredible powerpoint, Greg ""Excuse me ma'am, do you work here?"" Me: *grabs another donut & runs*"
"When they came out Fanny packs were the new hip thing."
"Wife-CAN YOU CLEAN UP? Me-*Quietly mutters- I don't work for you! 3-*runs out of room yelling- DADDY SAYS HE DOESN'T WORK FOR YOU!"
"Alcoholism joke? If a person who is addicted to alcohol is an alcoholic, the a person who is addicted to cats is a catholic?"
"Wanna hear a really funny joke? Whoops, wrong sub."