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Joke of the Day

"I am sad I can no longer get Arnold Palmer's at restaurants anymore But it looks like I can get an Arnold Embalmer now."

"What do you call it when you hold a Jewish girl under the covers and fart? A dutch oven..."

"Sia's full name is: ""Sia...Wouldntwannabia."""

"Are you a great at fishing? So you're a Mastur""bait""er"

"Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later."

"So I went to the doctor's office today. He tells me I need to stop masturbating. I ask him why, is my heart to weak, or something? He says ""no, im trying to examine you.."

"What's the best part about having a dog lick peanut butter off your balls? Finishing."

"Two fish were in a tank.. one turned back and said to another..""How do you drive this thing?"""

"I was on the subway when someone sneezed on me. I was so disgusted, I turned to him and said ""People like you make me sick."""

"What do cows say on Halloween? Still moo."