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Joke of the Day

"Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times Schrodinger: Nice, nice"

"A black guy called me a disgrace in front of his girlfriend, but then I realized he was introducing me to his girlfriend Grace."

"A man was found dead with his penis in a jar of crunchy peanut butter He was fucking nuts"

"I was so broke that Rahul Gandhi came in to eat at my house Indian reference"

"I'll have an Italian BMT on Cheddar bread with everything but lettuce. A squirt of mayo and yellow mustard too please. Oops. Wrong sub."

"Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games? So that they can pack the defence!"

"Whats the difference between jam and jelly? I cant jelly my dick up your ass"

"A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work."

"Why are some flowers gangsta ? Cause they carry pistils."

"Him: You'll always be the one that got away. Me: Escaped. Him: What? Me: I said Thanks."