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Joke of the Day

"A guy asked me out! Well, a guy asked me if I was going to be the same place he is. FINE, my boss called to see if I was coming to work."

"How do you make a Scottish omelette?"

"I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that."

"Why are men smarter during sex? Because they're usually plugged into a know-it-all."

"Cows should really stop putting ""delicious"" on their resumes."

"name a hurricane ""Jesus"" cuz then u could say ""Jesus is coming"" & have unaware ppl frantically prepare for rapture"

"The doctors all doubted me. They all thought I couldn't do it. They said I couldn't fight them all at once and well, they were 100% right"

"What did the egg say to the hot water?"

"What do u call a Jew? Jewish"

"Let's put a little smile on that face..."