95269

Joke of the Day

"HR: Do you use the visualization exercises from the anger management class? Me: Yes, I picture a swarm of bees attacking co-workers."

"Why are there no podiatrist generals? Because all they know is de feet"

"The painters I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0. I asked them, ""Why aren't you charging me for the paint?"" They said, ""Don't worry about it, it's on the house."""

"What do you call a bolt that dresses like a woman? A cross-threader"

"Whats the difference between a Ginger and a Shoe ? The shoe has a sole"

"I went to see the worst faith healer ever last night. He was so bad, a bloke in a wheelchair got up and walked out."

"How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big? Ostrich-sized."

"So I just started my own indoor ship production company. Production was great, until sales started going through the roof."

"30 people walk into a bar This is the worst game of limbo I've ever seen"

"My 4-year-old thinks the 5-second rule means she can eat anything off the floor if she waits 5-seconds first. That M&M was from last Easter."