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Joke of the Day

"The painters I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0. I asked them, ""Why aren't you charging me for the paint?"" They said, ""Don't worry about it, it's on the house."""

"Why are divorces so damn expensive? Because they are fucking worth it!"

"I hate Walmart. The men's bathroom doesn't have any urninals! Just a bunch of women screaming telling me to get out"

"Butter Joke There's a brick of butter and a fly, the fly was stuck on the butter. The fly says to the butter ""Hey butter , why don't you fly."" The butter says ""Because I'm not a Butterfly!"""

"What do you call a woman who will sleep with absolutely anybody? Public storage."

"I like my women like I like my coffee. Easy to have sex with."

"Police responded to a call where the husband was beating his wife with a flashlight... The man was charged with assault; flashlight charged with battery."

"A Boy giving Complaints. Kid: mom, some kid is calling me gay mama: Hit him, in the face. Kid: I cant Mom: Why? Kid: Cause, he's so Cute!!"

"What did the priest get at Toys R Us? An erection."

"A Hippo claimed that he didn't like serial killers Than he ate a bowl of cereal. He was such a hippo-crit."