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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many Geminis does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Two but the job never gets done --- they just keep arguing about who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!"

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"What shoes do Ninjas wear? Sneakers!"
"Why do hippies like to swim way offshore? Cause it's far out, man"
"My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas... Fortunately they missed."
"""Ah, OK. Yes. Now I see it."" -Me lying to someone who's pointing out a constellation"
"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? Virgin Mobile! XD"
"You hear about the blind guy on Wheel of Fortune? He asked if he could buy an I."
"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"
"Great deals on circumcisions, Half off!"
"This Jew says to me ""The 90s called, they want their shoes back."" ""The 40s called, your shower's ready."""