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Joke of the Day

"My parents tried to surprise me with a car this Christmas... Fortunately they missed."

"My wife cried when I bought her a car... It was a Saab."

"Why an Irish man might vote for Donald Trump Because he thinks his Capital will keep on Dublin under his presidency"

"I wish people who take selfies or make amateur porn would clean up their room first."

"[sits next to friend in a coma, holding her hand] ""Squeeze once if that's an 8 at the end of your HBO Go password."""

"Ha ha A little bit ask his mom for a quarter she said for what he said for being good she said why don't you be good for nothing like your daddy. Lol"

"Sitting in my car eating McD's, and I hear a quiet voice behind me go: ""Here, we have The Fat Woman in her natural habitat.."""

"Using Craigslist can get you murdered, but that's only one of its many advantages"

"*middle of an argument* Me-There are so many great things to do with a human mouth... ...why waste it on talking. Friend- like what? Me- Motor boating "

"My computer can sing it's A Dell"