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Joke of the Day

"I take my wife everywhere... And she still finds her way home"

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"Which England player keeps up the fuel supply ? Paul gas coin !"
"Which course did Hillary Clinton select when playing Mario Kart? The short circuit"
"My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the funeral I guess I'm not a mourning person"
"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."
"How do you circumcise Luke Skywalker? Kick Princess Leia in the jaw."
"TIL that .15% of subway sandwiches are made incorrectly on the first try Whoops sorry sir, wrong sub!"
"Why did the commuter want the carpool driver to take the bridge? To avoid car-pool tunnel!"
"What is six inches long and stiff in the morning? Crib death."
"What do you call a confused Asian? Disoriental."