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Joke of the Day

"My Dad died recently, but unfortunately I slept in and missed the funeral I guess I'm not a mourning person"

"A baby seal walks into a bar. The bartender says ""what'll ya have"" Seal replies ""Anything but Canadian Club."

"What's a seal's favorite drink? Canadian Club on the rocks."

"TEXTATIONSHIP: a person that texts you all the time but never makes an effort to see you."

"Why did the plumber cry? His family died."

"What kind of food do maths teachers eat? Square meals!"

"Sometimes u see the moon during the day and it's like, wow, how embarrassing. Showed up early because you were bored? Get a life, nerd moon."

"What happens when a cannibal decides to go vegan? They start eating vegetables."

"I slipped on ice and discovered I'm a natural at break dancing"

"Google: We know people like jacks, so on our new Pixel phone... We jacked up the price."