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Joke of the Day
"Where do baby robotic vacuums come from? The Woomba I'll show myself out."
Next Joke
"Don't judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes. Unless he wears Crocs. You just know he's a total douche jacket at that point."
"What is the cheapest kind of meat? Deer balls they are under a buck!"
"Did you hear about the feminist picnic? Yeah, apparently it got cancelled, no one wanted to make the sandwiches."
"The hardest part of any relationship is when it's not your turn to talk."
"Life is like a cup of coffee... No matter how much sugar you put in it, there's always grounds at the end."
"Diner: What's wrong with these eggs I ordered? Waiter: Don't ask me. I only laid the table."
"What is Jean-Paul Sartre's favorite animal? Lemur."
"I'm not hungover. I just like to wear my sunglasses when I open the fridge door. It makes me look cool."
"I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so i mounted it"