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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a kid with no arms and legs and severe Down syndrome? Names"

"Policeman: Now sir how did you come to have this accident? Motorist: Well the sign just there says `Stop ? Look ? Listen'. And while I was doing that the train hit me."

"What do blondes and turtles have in common? When they're on their backs, they're screwed."

"Donald Trump is raping the republican party unlike the female body, the GOP has no power to shut it down."

"Me: Let's have a fight with that guy you like Brain: That's not a good idea, he might actually like y... Me: GOOD IDEA! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!"

"The embarrasing email Hillary Clinton doesn't want anyone to know about [deleted]"

"Mmm piece of candy What smells like candy and tastes like fish?"

"Bouncer: ID please Me: I got socks for Christmas Bouncer: ...okay Me: and I'm genuinely happy about it Bouncer: so sorry come on in"

"Him: Would you like to have lunch sometime? Me: I like to have lunch every afternoon."

"[Mom]: My son's voice is changing [Dr.]: Thats normal at his age [Mom]: This is normal? *fax machine noises are coming from the kid's mouth*"