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Joke of the Day

"Bouncer: ID please Me: I got socks for Christmas Bouncer: ...okay Me: and I'm genuinely happy about it Bouncer: so sorry come on in"

"Why does moon rock taste better than earth rock? It's a little meteor."

"I'll sleep when I'm dead but also every night so I don't die."

"On my way to the mall yesterday I passed the Big & Tall Men's clothing store. Outside the store a troop of Girl Scouts were selling cookies. I guess it really is location, location, location..."

"Hezbollah put out a new Moisturiser... 100% Shi'a butter."

"He tells the punchline first. What's the worst thing about a time traveling comedian?"

"If cocaine were an old cranky man... He'd say ""blow me""!"

"Kessel Run With his latest crash, Harrison Ford has become the first pilot to complete the Kessel Run in 12 over Par-secs."

"At the rate this year's going so far... I'm probably not going to get that puppy for Christmas."

"I assume guys who wear their phones on the hip do so because their pockets are stuffed to the brim with condoms and girls phone numbers"