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Joke of the Day

"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"Why doesn't Superman watch Game of thrones? Because he has a LED-TV."

"What do you call a lobster dressed up as Santa? Santa Claws"

"I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Billy Bragg ! Billy Bragg who ? Billy Braggs too much tell him to stop it !"

"What do you call the Pope after he's resigned? Ex-Benedict."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" lol wtf ""wait its back on again nvm"" ok lmao ""he just stole my nose"" im phoning the police"

"Why do mimes always lose arguments? They don't have a say in anything!"

"Everything happens for a reason. The reason is a chaotic intersection of chance and the laws of physics."

"Cleanliness is next to godliness in a dictionary missing some stuff"