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Joke of the Day

"Innocent little girl !! ""Would you make a frog noise for me?"" The grandad, confused asks, ""why?"" The little girl replies, ""dad says when you croak we are all going to disneyland""."

"[speed dating] *girl sits down* ""hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE ""wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT"

"So a kid starts cussing in Social Studies class Another kid hears it and tells the teacher. Teacher confronts kid, saying ""Tom says you were swearing.."" Kid replies, ""That's fucking bullshit!"""

"If you're offended by anything on my TL, whatever you do, do not look at the rest of the internet."

"As if being a surgeon wasn't enough you're a general too?"

"I was climbing the ladder to success Then a guy poked his head out of a window and said ""Hi, I'm Cess!"""

"What's the worst part of... About locking your keys in your car outside the abortion clinic? Going in to ask for at coat hanger."

"Will I be able to drink with these? - First question when prescribed meds"

"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."

"What's the difference between broccoli and cat poop? My dog won't eat broccoli."