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Joke of the Day

"[speed dating] *girl sits down* ""hi im melan- QUICK A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAPPENS WHAT WEAPON DO YOU USE ""wha- CORRECT ANSWER WAS KATANA. NEXT"

"What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon? The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli."

"Here is an easy way to tell a Chinese girl from a Japanese girl The Japanese girl has pixels."

"I grew up thinking my Dad had tourettes.... turns out he just genuinely thought I was a fucking cunt."

"I wish there was an "" I don't get it button."""

"What mustache can an alien not pull off? A human chu"

"What does apathy sound like? I'm Ellen Pao, AMA"

"What's the best thing about fucking twenty one year olds? There are twenty of them."

"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."

"What is the most recycled joke that keeps getting used? Your mom."