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Joke of the Day

"My Netflix subscription feels like one of those abusive relationships people are afraid of leaving."

"What did Missy Elliot say to Tony Abbot? Is it worth it?"

"People that are into beastieality. Are fucking animals."

"How do you the difference between a blond man and a blond woman? The blond woman will have a higher sperm count."

"Dad, I'm cold.. Dad : Go stand in the corner son. Son: why? Dad: because its 90 degrees"

"What do cannibals put in their soup? Ramen! -------- Before you judge harshly, I would like to state that this was invented by a six year old, all on his own, no coaching."

"*Hits rock bottom. *Receives welcome basket from Twitter."

"I'll never join one of those dating sites. I prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way. By alcohol & bad decisions."

"So a black guy walks into a bank... Approaching the nearest available teller, he says, ""Hi, I'd like to file for bankruptcy."" ""Okay"", the teller replies, ""what's your name?"" ""Fifty Cent"" badum tisss"

"I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 The odds were against me."