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Joke of the Day

"The best stories ever told always end with the words""...and then I got the hell out of there."""

"What does Tony Stark call his semen? Pepper spray"

"My pick-up line used to be ""Hey babe, I'm a hotspot. Wanna log-on""? doesn't work anymore, now they just yell at me ""fuck off you homeless begger""."

"Why did Toronto host the (hockey) World Junior Championships? They wanted to see what a winning team looked like."

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"

"You're pretty cocky for someone with such a small... ....vocabulary."

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"No matter how nice your kids are... ..German children are Kinder."

"How do you make a witch scratch? Remove the w"

"I always felt that Daffy Duck was funnier than Donald Duck but didn't get as much recognition because he was black."