219718

Joke of the Day

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"

"Why is it that every time I get ahead in life someone arrests me for grave-robbing?"

"This guy on the subway has piercings on both sides of his neck. Mary Shelley would be so proud of her modern influence."

"I ate the whole box of slim fast bars. So excited about how skinny I'll be when I wake up tomorrow."

"I spilled laundry detergent on my rug! It really tide the room together."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bart ! Bart who ? Bart-enders serve drinks !"

"I've just started going out with some anorexic twins, two birds one stone"

"My wife's been missing for two weeks and the police said to prepare for the worst. So I went to the Goodwill and got her clothes back."

"Willie Nelson's braids sold at auction for $37,000. The winning bidder can't wait to smoke them."

"What do you call a moving company owned by cows? A bunch of moooovers."