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Joke of the Day

"My pick-up line used to be ""Hey babe, I'm a hotspot. Wanna log-on""? doesn't work anymore, now they just yell at me ""fuck off you homeless begger""."

"If a friend tells you a half-assed joke that's not worthy of an LMAO, give them a LOCO - laughing one cheek off"

"Referenced my previous girlfriend in an academic paper It was very ex-citing"

"What does a racist drink to wake himself up every morning? A KKK-Cup!"

"""Risky Star"" What kind of a star can be risky? . . A shooting star!"

"This milk's brand name is ""Organic Valley."" I can't drink it. Too grossed out picturing livers, spleens and pancreases sitting in a valley."

"I went to shake the old man's hand But Parkinson's beat me to it"

"You know social media has gone too far when all your Christmas presents have twitter integration. Sent from my ugly sweater."

"Even if oil prices go down, I'm still going to siphon gas from my neighbor's car because I like the adrenaline rush and he's an asshole."

"What is a dentist's favorite dinosaur? A Flossiraptor! I'll just show myself out..."