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Joke of the Day

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"""You're never alone."": A phrase that's maybe cute to find in a love note, but horrifying to find smeared on a fogged up bathroom mirror."

"What do you call a plane with no wings? Fly Curious."

"McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!"

"When someone asks you to give an example of an idiom Just tell them you can't recall any from the top of your head."

"How do you get 30 drunk Canadians out of the pool? ""Please Get Out The Pool"""

"What do women and fuses have in common? They blow when they get turned on."

"What do you call a gay guy who gives bad blow jobs? A tooth fairy."

"Whoever said Obama never created any jobs... Obviously has never heard of Isis"

"Googled 'how to start a fire' got 10000 matches"