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Joke of the Day

"[Truth or Dare] Her: What's your biggest secret? Salazar Slytherin: *sweating* No secrets here haha. Definitely not a chamber full of 'em"

"Premature Ejokeulation What do you get when you cross someone with a sex disorder and someone who ruins punchlines?"

"Two moles are going down a tunnel. The one behind says: I think I smell molasses."

"Shaved my girlfriend's cat. Think she'll take the hint?"

"What's Hitler's favorite football team? Forty NEIN ers."

"What body regulates the welfare of Santa's workers? The Elf and Saftey Executive."

"I heard something crazy the other day apparently making alcohol in scotland is whiskey business"

"I tried a new fragrance today. It's called Tester."

"What's a nice thing about having a black boyfriend? If you decide to try anal, and you get shit on his dick, no one will notice."

"Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes."