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Joke of the Day

"Unlike Eric Garner... I live for out of state cigarettes."

"On Passive-Aggressive Jeopardy, the contestants answer Alex Trebek in the form of rhetorical questions."

"Why did Snow White stop using the mail-in photo lab? She was tired of singing ""Some day, my prints will come..."""

"What's 16 inches long and hangs in front of an asshole? Obama's Tie."

"What do is the difference between acne and a pedophile? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're twelve"

"If I were a male porn star My name would be Jesus and right before each money shot I would say, ""Get on your knees and close your eyes. Jesus is coming soon."""

"I bought my dog a toy cell phone, now it takes him 45 minutes to shit."

"What were the Mexican crisps doing in the locked conference room? It's nacho business!"

"There are only 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"Indie-Tarts: the nuanced alternative to Pop-Tarts."