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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why are people in Arkansas having peanut butter and jelly for Thanksgiving this year? A: Reagan ate all the jellybeans."

"I mix up the Marvel and DC universes on purpose just for the angry sex"

"Chuck Norris trick-or-treated as himself as a child."

"Chuck Norris... Walks up the elevator."

"Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir..."

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"

"Why can't you keep a secret in a cornfield? There's too many ears"

"I don't like how far I have to scroll down when I enter my birth year online."

"""I shit you not"" - Yoda claiming dibs on the bathroom"

"Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon"