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Joke of the Day

"Apparently the rebooted bible will feature a female Jesus, and Moses will be a raccoon"

"I'm concerned that little girls are being taught it's okay to eat."

"they probably named the Rocky mountains first and then saw all the other mountains and were like ""oh"""

"Mom, what's an orgasm? Child: ""Mom, what's an orgasm?"" Mom: ""I don't know, dear. I never had one."" Dad: (Thinking) ""This bitch."""

"Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys."

"The biggest difference between mistletoe and camel toe is the length of the kiss."

"What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? One you see later, and the other after a while."

"What did Einstein say when he was pulled over for speeding? ""Speed is relative, officer."""

"Why is ""jizz"" such a great word? Because of how nicely it rolls off your tongue"

"What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner? Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already."