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Joke of the Day

"Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn't realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It's causing quite a stir..."

"INTERVIEWER: What do you see as your biggest weakness? ME: INTERVIEWER: ME: MY MOTHER: He's not good at speaking up for himself"

"I called the bowling alley today and asked if they had 10 pound balls. He said ""yes"", which I thought was amazing for how fast he was able to run to the phone."

"Why don't sea-gulls fly over bays? Because then they would be bay-gulls."

"What do you call it when two hobbits are involved in a footrace that is too close to call A Frodo-finish"

"""Lincoln"" is a terrible movie The main character dies at the end."

"I hate fucking faggots I love faggots fucking me, though."

"If Mature woman who likes young men is a Cougar. What is a Mature man who likes young women? An Inmate"

"Do you like dragons? Because i'm going to be dragon these nuts across your face!"

"Spent the day attempting crazy driving stunts because I forgot to read the fine print at the bottom of a car commercial."