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Joke of the Day
"If I were a dinosaur, I'd be a swagasaurus."
Next Joke
"I really dislike my CW, so everyday I steal a Kleenex from her desk. In about 500 days, she's gonna be pissed."
"Give the chick a break. Kristen Stewart TOTALLY looks sorry. Or happy. Or sad. Or constipated."
"You want people to leave you alone? Carry a clip board and try to make eye contact."
"The filling in fortune cookies tastes like paper.."
"Hillary Clinton is in the hospital... She is being treated for third degree Berns."
"I voted for Jill Stein Finally I'm part of the 1%"
"What Do You Call a Bad Circumcision? What do you call a bad circumcision? A rip off."
"Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down"
"I've survived 23 years by pretending to be smarter than I am. I tell people I excel in Academia but I can't even point Academia out on a map"