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Joke of the Day
"You want people to leave you alone? Carry a clip board and try to make eye contact."
Next Joke
"""Whenever one door closes, another opens."" ""Wow, you must be very optimistic about life."" ""No, I live in a haunted house."""
"A Scientologist and a Westboro Baptist Church member walk into a bar... No one goes to that bar anymore."
"What do Peacocks mate with? Peacunts"
"A lady was spanking her kid for being a total brat in the grocery store so I had to step in and ask her if she needed me to hold her purse."
"What is the friendliest kind of aircraft? A Hello-copter."
"I saw a midget carrying a TV out of Best Buy I asked, ""Hey, do you need help with that flat-screen?"" He replied, ""Fuck off, this is a Kindle!"""
"There's a new terrorist group targeting gorillas It's called Boko Harambe"
"You hear lots of jokes about white sugar, but you hardly ever hear them about brown sugar, demerara."
"My parents asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I said I wanna watch. So they let me"