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Joke of the Day

"My new girl friend. Just got a new Czech girlfriend, but its taken her nearly 5 days to hoover the house. Turns out she's a Slovak."

"What is the difference between Jedward and a vacuum cleaner? A vacuum cleaner only sucks when you turn it on."

"After winning the World Series, the city of Chicago is rioting So nothing seems to have changed."

"Recipe for homemade charcoal: 1. Put dinner in the oven. 2. Sit down to check one quick thing on the internet..."

"[my kid, literally every school morning] ""I hate mornings. I'm not getting up"" [1st day of summer vacation] ""dad, can we watch the sunrise"""

"Why was the 4 year old African kid crying? He was having a mid-life crisis."

"Told my daughter I was into incest... She's taking it pretty hard..."

"A legume broke out of prison today Police are looking for the escapea."

"Why do they eat snails in France? They don't like fastfood"

"You are living proof that manure can sprout legs and walk."