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Joke of the Day

"[my kid, literally every school morning] ""I hate mornings. I'm not getting up"" [1st day of summer vacation] ""dad, can we watch the sunrise"""

"Why did the stoplight turn red? Well, wouldn't you turn red if you were caught changing in the middle of the street?"

"Why are prostate exams so important? They show how much of an asshole you are"

"We don't need a girlfriend... Our assignments irritates us everyday... that's enough!!"

"I was only young when I learned to count....... I was only young when I learned to count. It was odd at first, even then."

"How can you tell if someone's a vegan? Oh don't worry, *they'll tell you*."

"Humility is one of those things you can't really brag about having."

"Larry is a biologist who prefers to observe his deep-sea specimens up close in the field He works well under pressure"

"What did the little black kid get on his SAT's? Barbecue sauce."

"What's the word that starts with an ""N"" that no one wants to call a black person? Neighbor"