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Joke of the Day

"My anniversary is coming up Friday is my anniversary, I'll have been married for 35 years. Really it only 5 years, but I count in dog years because my wife is such a bitch."

Next Joke
 
"Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans"
"How many Android users does it take to buy an iPhone? Zero. Apple doesn't accept EBT."
"Frankenstein the Gardner why is frankenstein a great gardner????"
"What type of car would Jesus drive? A Chrysler"
"Dead babies What's worse than a dead baby nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees!"
"I bet Hemingway would've deleted a shitload of tweets the next day."
"Sam Adams is the main reason I know what season it is."
"What's 69?... (NSFW) A great sexual position. What's 6.9? A great sexual position interrupted by a period."
"If I ever met a Space Alien, I'd resist shaking its extended appendage, not knowing for sure the details of alien anatomy."