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Joke of the Day

"Good cop: We got you red-handed! Weatherman cop: Well there's a 70% chance of guilt but I'd go ahead and make weekend plans"

"I put on my pants just like you, reluctantly, when the doorbell rings."

"How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but it takes at least three light bulbs."

"""Morning sickness"" should also be used to describe the hatred of waking up in the morning. ""Sorry I was rude. I had morning sickness."""

"Did you hear about the hockey game where all the players had leprosy? There was a face off in the corner."

"When it comes to sex I'm a bit of a romantic... I only masturbate to the thought of fucking girls in the missionary position."

"Why didn't anyone hear Helen Keller fall off a cliff? She had mittens on."

"Why would you put a baby in a blender feet first? So you can make dinner and get head at the same time."

"Data plan Use your whole data plan every month. Remember that there are children in Africa with no data plan."

"Anal Sex is a lot like your first car You don't really want it but your step Dad gives it to you anyways."