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Joke of the Day

"I fucked a girl in an apple orchard once It was great until i came in cider"

"They said she was a cat lady but when I threw her off a small building she didn't land on her feet and now I'm in jail for murder."

"And breaking news, a man has been rushed to hospital after having 6 plastic horses shoved up his ass. He is in a stable condition."

"Why your fingers have spaces in between? nothing!why? would you like it to be very close to each other. You're not a duck!"

"When I get naked in the bathroom... the shower gets turned on."

"Without me it would just be aweso. Just saying."

"Raise your right hand if you were home schooled. No, your other right hand."

"Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) A bunch of freeloaders lie around in bed & support themselves by violating child labor laws."

"(Alt Joke) Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . title"

"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."