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Joke of the Day

"And breaking news, a man has been rushed to hospital after having 6 plastic horses shoved up his ass. He is in a stable condition."

"If you had more money you'd be happier."

"What happens when you plant a sesame seed? Does a sesame grow? What is a sesame? Where my botanists at? Where the hell am I?"

"What do you call a lawncare company owned by a promiscuous lesbian? Hoe Mow"

"Knock knock Person 1: Knock knock. Person 2: Who's there? Person 1: Hammer. Person 2: Hammer what? Person 1: Hammertime! ^canttouchthis"

"Jokes about unemployed people aren't funny. They just don't work."

"What did Cinderella Dolphin where to the ball? Glass flippers!"

"I realized I was maybe not the best listener when a friend had to come out to me twice."

"32. Never married. No children. nnI'm the last single friend standing! I win!nn*This message brought to you by whiskey and self loathing."

"What did the mentally handicapped kid get on his math test? Drool"