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Joke of the Day

"Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? Because classical conditioning!"

"What does the murderer say after he kills someone with a nail gun? Nailed it."

"""What are you going to do with your time, now that you're retired?"" ""I'm going to finish my book."" ""I didn't know you were writing a book."" ""I'm not, I'm reading one."""

"Why did the toy company stop donating toys to kids in Africa? Because it's pretty depressing to have a Tamagotchi that'll out-live you."

"What do guys like but are afraid of? Girls"

"#HowToGetABlackGirl Tell her she look like Rihanna even tho she look like whoopi goldberg in the color purple"

"Without depression what would white people do for a personality"

"OC - Why shouldn't Spanish women smoke cigarettes? You shouldn't smoke if your pregnant."

"[BOOK CLUB] ME: So last weeks assignment was Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. What did everyone think? STEVE: PAUL: JANE: SARAH: MARK: DAVE:"

"When I'm sad I go to the fabric softener aisle of a store & imagine I'm in the clean mountains surrounded by blue sparkles and wild flowers."