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Joke of the Day

"Who made this Christmas pudding? Our chef. He's a little green man who lives in a toadstool. What did he use to make it? Elf-raising flour of course."

"Nothing seems longer than the few seconds spent trying to shut off unwanted background music that starts playing on a website."

"Did you see the story about the psychic dwarf escaping prison? The headline was ""Small medium at large""."

"Speaking of lent some of you mofos owe me money"

"To find out your cat name, pick any name at random and refuse to answer to it."

"How does ISIS listen to its favourite tunes? On a boombox."

"If a rich man dies from a drug overdose, the headline should read ""Pills bury dough boy"" Credit to my friend Chris"

"Enthusiasm 365 days until Christmas and people already have their trees up."

"My friend has a butler who had his left arm cut off... ...serves him right!"

"What is the highest point in Israel? Mountain Dew."