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Joke of the Day

"everything in the world's horrible now not like the good old days of black plague, holocaust, atomic bombs, holodomor, khmer rouge, crusades"

"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."

"The hurt I feel when someone leaves the bus seat next to mine for a newly empty one is almost exactly equal to my annoyance when they don't."

"Ordered a Book on Female Orgasms. It hasn't come till now."

"Madonna fell while performing at a show yesterday. When asked about it, she said... ""All that time on my back reminded me of the 80's"""

"What do gnomes fear most about Christmas? They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!"

"A pirate's walking down the beach.... ...when he comes across a little girl. The litter girl says, ""Hey Pirate! Where's your buccaneers??"" The pirate responds, ""tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"""

"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper"

"Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues? Because he had a stinking cold!"

"What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit? ""He did gnat see that coming"""