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Joke of the Day

"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."

"I got fucking hammered last night so I made sure I took the bus home It was ok, except for all the passengers screaming at me to stop driving."

"The worst part of Aquaman's day is when he has to kill time on land for half an hour after eating a meal."

"What Does Every Pirate Hate? A small chest with no booty."

"I get nudes from Adele Sorry, *a dell*"

"I'm just a girl, sitting in her car, wondering what the person I texted ""I'm in the cat"" to, is thinking right now."

"What did the facial hair say when it had to leave the party? ""Sorry guys, moustache!"""

"What is a zombie's favorite restaurant? Subway: East flesh!"

"""Pool"" in Spanish is ""Piscina"". They know."

"Husband's early morning farts sound like they end with a question mark. The answer is ""No."""