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Joke of the Day
"America's national mascot should just be a drunk white girl typing on a shattered iPhone."
Next Joke
"""Go ahead, caller. . ."" ""Yes, hello. My dog dug up a femur and I'd like to make soup. Would you suggest carrots or potatoes?"""
"Did y'all hear the one about the professional jump-roper? Never mind. *Skip it*."
"There's a brand new cemetery in town Everybody is dying to get in"
"How do you sort out Ant and Dec? Squash one and deal with the other later."
"I think the best thing about being a cyclops is no one would notice if you had a lazy eye."
"We can talk about either delegates or blowjobs, but a Clinton will always get one or the other under the table."
"How many black guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one - you fucking bigot."
"What do the average woman and kids on a snow day have in common? They're both hoping for nine inches, but will be happy enough with five."
"Warning: objects in your rear may feel larger than they they appear."