909

Joke of the Day

"A pirate's walking down the beach.... ...when he comes across a little girl. The litter girl says, ""Hey Pirate! Where's your buccaneers??"" The pirate responds, ""tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"""

"two fish swim into a concrete wall one turn to the other and says:""Dam"""

"I hate when people inbox me to tell me how funny my status es are... Motherf*cker there is a ""like"" button for a reason!"

"Having kids is like getting a stupid tattoo... It takes most people a couple years to realize how bad they fucked up."

"What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow? A Chinese telephone. Wing wing. Arrow?"

"Why was Fibonacci afraid of 5? ...because 5 8 13!"

"guy at seaworld: ""it's a cross between an eel and a shark, we're asking everyone to pick a name for him"" wife: ""steve"" me: ""sharkeel o'neal"""

"What do you get when you cross a sheep with a robot? Steel wool"

"To celebrate Boxing Day on Friday, I had a five minute training montage and beat the shit out of the biggest Russian I could find ..."

"A redditor and his friend, Elle, walk into a bar... The redditor notices a jar of mayonnaise on the bar, so he says, ""Hey, Elle, a mayo!"""