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Joke of the Day

"I am just a boy, standing in front of a milkshake, wondering by what sorcery it beckoned me to this yard"

"Martin Shkreli."

"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those that can read binary and those that can't."

"I always find New Year's Eve stressful. I've been diagnosed with old langxiety."

"Notice anything? B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W Y Z Because Apple removed the AUX *cue snare drum*"

"Can you spell a pretty girl with two letters? QT (cutey)."

"Safety Tip: Always have a loaded water gun ready to go in case of a home invasion by a cat burglar."

"Ben Carson is my favorite candidate whose name sounds like a Transformer explaining to his kid why he hasn't seen him much lately"

"I walked out of a club with a girl last night. She slipped her hand inside my jeans, squeezed my c*ck and said, ""Yours or mine?"" I said, ""That's mine."""

"Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class"