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Joke of the Day

"Notice anything? B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W Y Z Because Apple removed the AUX *cue snare drum*"

"How do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos."

"People often complain and belittle alternative religious organizations like atheism and scientology... but at least atheism is a non-prophet organization."

"BREAKING: North Dakota lawmakers decide life begins at conception, and then begins again the moment you're old enough to leave North Dakota"

"my favourite position is 68 you do me, and i'll owe you one."

"Why is it so difficult for people with breast cancer to remember things? They have bad mammaries."

"Life without women... would be a pain in the ass."

"What animal do I respect most? The octopus. I have no idea what to do with my hands most of the time, and I only have two of them."

"How do Germans tie their shoes? In little nazis"

"[shipwreck diary] Day 44: Some of the survivors have resorted to drinking their own piss. Nobody wants to drink mine cos it's 'too chunky'."